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11 Premier League Figures & Their "Spotify Wrapped"

11 Premier League Figures & Their "Spotify Wrapped"
Photo by David Pupăză / Unsplash

It's December, which means there are football matches every two days, I have lost control of my inbox, my laundry hamper, and this blog, and my 3-year-old's Christmas requests change daily, but "an alive dog" still tops the wish list.

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la to you, too.

It's also the time of year when Spotify comes out with its annual "Spotify Wrapped" and tells me I'm the freak who listens to too much Ethel Cain. (Did I listen to "Family Tree" on repeat while editing new biz decks for hours? Why yes, I did do that.)

But my husband one-upped me by sending me his Spotify Wrapped, which is just a clean sweep by Moana 2.

^^Tell me you have a 3-year-old without telling me you have a 3-year-old.

Anyway, if you've ever wondered what your fave Premier League managers and players' Spotify Wrapped looks like, worry not! After hours of interviews and Spotify algorithm deep-dives, I'm here to present you with the fruits of my research.

Anthony Gordon | Your Top Songs

  1. "Aerobics 5" by Jane Fonda
  2. "Headband" by B.o.B ft. 2 Chainz
  3. "Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" by C+C Music Factory
  4. "Pump up the Jam" by Technotronic
  5. "Let My Hair Down" by Nelly Furtado

Your context: Anthony Gordon unveiled his new 2025-26 look in August, and it was this headband. He looks like a man who accidentally walked out of an '80s aerobics tape and straight onto the pitch. Four months later, I am still not over it.

Eberechi Eze | Your Top Songs

  1. "Let It All Work Out" by Lil Wayne
  2. "Home Sweet Home" by Mötley Crüe
  3. "All I Do Is Win" by DJ Khaled
  4. "Take Me Home" by Phil Collins
  5. "Meant to Be" by Bebe Rexha ft. Florida Georgia Line

Your context: If you don't know Ebzs' narrative arc by now, what are you even doing?! 2 second refresher: Eze almost went to Tottenham in the summer transfer window, but thank god he ended up at Arsenal instead because he's a lifelong Gunner living out his dream. The Emirates is his home, forever and ever, amen.

Virgil Van Dijk | Your Top Songs

  1. "Under Pressure" by David Bowie and Queen
  2. "The Times They Are A-Changing" by Bob Dylan
  3. "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter
  4. "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty
  5. "Bubble Butt" by Major Lazer

Your context: It's been a turbulent season for Liverpool, and Virgil Van Dijk has become every pundit's favorite punching bag. Six losses in 14 Premier League games, and suddenly the narrative is that his legs have gone. (He's 34, so this makes me feel real good about myself, a fellow 34-year-old.)

Still, if there’s one thing VVD can cling to, it’s this infamous twerk stance (see above) that broke the Internet. When the defending gets tough, sometimes you just have to… back it up.

Ange Postecoglou | Your Top Songs

  1. "I Hate This Job" by David Morris
  2. "Cost of Livin'" by Ronnie Dunn
  3. "Toxic" by Britney Spears
  4. "39 Days" by Brendan Monaghan
  5. "Hard Times" by Paramore

Your context: Big Ange was sacked by Tottenham after their disastrous 17th-place finish in 2024–25, then got hired by Nottingham Forest, only to be canned 39 days later after failing to win a single match. I sincerely hope he's now decompressing in the Land Down Under with his phone on Do Not Disturb, listening to literally anything other than Premier League pundits. If anyone's earned a long vacay, a strong drink, and a strict "no football talk" policy, it's him.

Mo Salah | Your Top Songs

  1. "The End of The Affair" by Ben Howard
  2. "Take a Bow" by Rihanna
  3. "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" by Taylor Swift
  4. "Bye Bye Bye" by *NSYNC
  5. "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac

Your context: Mo Salah is currently living through football's version of a messy breakup, with Liverpool as the toxic ex. After he was benched three matches in a row for the first time in his career, the 33-year-old gave an explosive interview to media in which he revealed the club had "thrown him under the bus," his relationship with manager Arne Slot had broken down, and that someone "doesn't want [him] at this club." Mo even hinted that next week's Brighton game would be his last in a Liverpool shirt, and that he's eyeing a January exit after AFCON. (Big yikes doesn't even start to cover it.)

Rob Edwards | Your Top Songs

  1. "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake
  2. "Back to the Old House" by The Smiths
  3. "Mr. Sexy Man" by Nellie "Tiger" Travis
  4. "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" by Marvin Gaye
  5. "Fix What You Didn't Break" by Nate Smith

Your context: Wolves are last in the Premier League and still winless. The only silver lining is that Rob Edwards, previously voted the Premier League's sexiest manager, is now on the touchline at Molineux (so you know engagement is up on their socials). I thought Rob was a dumbo for taking the job, but then I remembered he actually has history with Wolves from his playing days. Can he fix them? Absolutely not, but he's going to look d**n good while trying.

Gabriel Magalhaes | Your Top Songs

  1. "I Protect This House" by Dino Lenny & Wasiu
  2. "Fortress" by Queens of the Stone Age
  3. "Protect What's Mine" by The Arcitype
  4. "Corners" by The Shermans
  5. "Monstro" by Wolf & Bear

Your context: Our No. 6 is the king of Brazil and you cannot tell me otherwise. Prior to his injury, our defensive record was outrageous (zero goals conceded in October), and Big Gabi was at the heart of everything: commanding the back line, bullying strikers, and getting up highest for set piece goals. The man is a fortress with legs. I miss him dearly.

The entire Chelsea squad | Your Top Songs

  1. Hot N' Cold" by Katy Perry
  2. "Money For Nothin'" by Dire Straits
  3. "Rich Girl" by Gwen Stefani
  4. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Lookin' For" by U2
  5. "Puffy Jackets" by Kid Dakota

Your context: Chelsea may be backed by billionaires, but the squad is proof that all the money in the world can't buy you happiness... or consistency. Their form is wildly patchy: they'll beat Barcelona and tie Arsenal one week, then lose miserably to Leeds the next. Add in the worst disciplinary record in the league, and the only constant you're hanging onto is Enzo Maresca's puffer jacket, which has seen more minutes than half the squad.

Granit Xhaka

  1. "Follow My Lead" by 50 Cent & Robin Thicke
  2. "Veteran" by Ignite
  3. "Travelin' Soldier" by The Chicks
  4. "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey
  5. "Rebel Rebel" by David Bowie

Your context: Even Sunderland's last-gasp equalizer against Arsenal couldn’t make me stop loving Granit Xhaka. From his Arsenal days to a stint with Bayer Leverkusen, and now running the show at Sunderland, Xhaka proves you can be both majestic and perpetually on the ref’s watchlist.

The entire Leeds squad | Your Top Songs

  1. "Giant" by Calvin Harris & Rag'n'Bone Man
  2. "Taller Than Trees" by Black Pumas
  3. "Jump Around" by House of Pain
  4. "Head The Ball" by Bernie Marsden
  5. "Tall Boy" by Shaboozey

Your context: Leeds are basically a team built like a stack of refrigerators, and they play like it. Winning aerial duels and scoring set piece goals is kind of their thing (even if they're not as good at it as Arsenal). Tiki taka football this is not, but if you need someone to head a ball through a brick wall, Leeds have a bunch of volunteers.

Thomas Frank

  1. "Welcome To The Jungle" by Guns N' Roses
  2. "Lost" by Frank Ocean
  3. "The Hardest Part" by Coldplay
  4. "Pressure" by Billy Joel
  5. "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC

Your context: Thomas Frank went from a tactical mastermind at Brentford to trudging along in the hellscape that is Tottenham. Playing with five in the back against Arsenal (what he used to do at Brentford) just isn't going to cut it at a Big Six club. And whether he's defending Tottenham's abysmal home form, Vicario's mistakes at the back, or just trying to get his players to listen to him, there's no shortage of fires to put out.

It might get better, but it'll probably get worse first... Keep your chin up, Thomas!