Gameweek 37: The Headlines

The penultimate week of the season has given me a great excuse to use the word "penultimate" in a sentence.

It has also provided additional clarity on the fate of all 20 Premier League teams. Burnley was officially relegated, Luton is set to follow suit (except in the event of some kind of mathematical miracle), and Aston Villa clinched its first-ever Champion's League spot.

Expect to see these fools shimmying elsewhere in Europe, come October.

As for talk of the title race, I'm almost as fatigued as hearing about it as Casemiro is of playing defense.

And discussion is still ongoing. For the first time in 25 years, Arsenal's fate will be decided on Championship Sunday. It's going down to the wire!

Enjoy the last few days of the season. I wish you well, whoever you support.

The title race

My fatigue notwithstanding, the title race is THE talking point of the week.

This week, I've had various vivid dreams about being kidnapped and taken on a fishing trip with Phil Foden which ... tells you a lot about my deeply-rooted psychological fear of Manchester City.

IRL, Arsenal beat Manchester United 1-0 at Old Trafford in a historic game that marked:

• Their first win at Old Trafford since 2006-2007
• Their first season EVER with 27 wins (and counting)

It wasn't always pretty at Old Trafford, but a win is a win. And it's this win that ensures the title race will go down to the last day of the season.

Meanwhile, up in the (blue half of) Manchester, the Cityzens continue their relentlessly robotic quest for perfection (read: their fourth trophy in four years). This included:

• A 4-0 beatdown of Fulham, who garnered much controversy for flying kites at practice ahead of the game, lol

• A 2-0 win at Tottenham, where Heung-Min Son's epic miss will haunt my nightmares (at least until Arsenal lift another trophy)

When fans cheer for their rivals

Speaking of the Tottenham game, it presented fans with an interesting moral dilemma. On the one hand, if Tottenham had beaten Manchester City, they would still be in contention for Champion's League. However, a win or a tie on their end would have handed Arsenal a major boost in the race for the league title — and Arsenal and Tottenham are bitter rivals.

Therefore, Arsenal fans were actively cheering for Spurs (the horror!), while some Tottenham fans were hoping their team would lose.

Good thing Tottenham manager Ange Postecoglou had zero time for fake fans.

“I was part of one of the biggest rivalries in the world in the last couple of years with Celtic and Rangers, and I understand the rivalry, but I’ve never and will never understand if someone wants their own team to lose,” he said, per The Premier League. “That’s not what sport is about. It’s not what I love about the game."

Ange also decried the "fairly fragile foundations" upon which Tottenham is built. Apparently, there were suggestions among the Tottenham staff that Spurs should just "throw" the Manchester City match. 👀

The race for Europe

The top four places in the Premier League are already wrapped up in a bow, though it still remains to be seen whether the ribbons on Sunday's trophy ceremony will be red or blue. Here's hoping!

There's also a race to determine who will be playing in Europe next season. This season, seven teams will qualify. Here's how it breaks down:

• The top four qualify for Champion's League
• The 5th placed team qualifies for the UEFA Europa League (a less competitive version of Champion's League)
• There's another Europa League Spot up for grabs — which will either go to the 6th place team, or the winner of the FA Cup — and one last spot in the Europa Conference League (a knockoff version of the Europa League).

OK, well just know that Tottenham, Chelsea, Manchester United, and Newcastle still have something left to play for on Sunday!

Meanwhile, the rest of the Premier League teams are mentally somewhere on a beach in Ibiza or Mykonos by now.

Or off flying kites.

The VAR controversy

VAR (or Video Assistant Referee) has been another major talking point this season. From failing to award penalties that — in retrospect, really should have been penalties — to incorrectly ruling goals offside, VAR makes a lot mistakes for a technology that was implemented to solve for human error.

Early in the season, VAR called back Liverpool forward Luis Diaz's goal in the match against Tottenham. Luis' goal would have tied the match. But since it didn't count, Liverpool lost the game.

Then, following the match, VAR said they were wrong, and the goal was actually onside.

Similarly, Arsenal lost 1-0 to Newcastle in the first half of the season, due to a controversial goal by Anthony Gordon. The goal in question came after the ball potentially went out of bounds and/or was offside and/or Arsenal's Gabriel Magalhaes was fouled by Newcastle's Joelinton.

In perhaps my favorite post-match interview of all time, Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta called VAR, their families, and anyone they'd ever met, a bunch of dirty, rotten, no-good cheats and liars. (I editorialize.)

In a full circle moment for Anthony Gordon, the Newcastle winger made headlines on Wednesday for his disparaging comments about VAR. Anthony was not given a penalty after he felt he was fouled by Manchester United's Sofyan Amrabat in the box.

Anthony told Sky Sports, "I've watched it back and it's a clear penalty. I don't mind the referee getting the decision wrong on the pitch, but I don't understand what the point of VAR is then. It is there to correct mistakes."

He continued, "Amrabat goes down my Achilles and then pushes me in the back. Casemiro gets the ball but there are two fouls before that. I just don't see the point in [VAR]."

On the same day that Anthony threw his hissy fit, Wolves petitioned the league to get rid of VAR for good. Now, it's unlikely that Wolves will get another 13 Premier League teams to agree with them and vote against VAR. But it's telling that they're taking such drastic measures.

A helpful ESPN article informed me that in the past 5 years, when all VAR decisions for and against Wolves are tallied up, they have a total score of -17. Approximately 15 decisions have gone their way and 32 have not.

No wonder they have a bone to pick with the PGMOL!

Between all the Financial Fair Play points deductions and VAR controversies this season, the Premier League just wants to distract everyone. Good thing there's a nail biter of a title race to talk about!

I will most likely be in a state of adrenaline-fueled panic come Sunday.

If you're feeling charitable, say a prayer/light a candle/whisper a benedictionary psalm for the Gooners!

P.S. RIP to Thiago Silva, who just announced his retirement from the Premier League. He's 39, which is ~120 in Premier League years.

Next up, Thiago is headed to to Fluminense FC. I googled it. Not a sneeze, but a team in the Campeonato Brasileiro Série A, or first tier of Brazilian football.

Boa sorte, Thiago!