Gameweek 12: What I'm Thankful For, EPL Edition

UPDATE: Due to my bronchitis brain, I confused the current manager of Nottingham Forest with the past manager of Nottingham Forest. I've updated that below – sorry, Sean Dyche!

But the real reason I'm updating is because news broke yesterday that Bukayo Saka is engaged. That's right. Our starboy is now a starman.

And now, back to your turkey leftovers. As you were!

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Happy Thanksgiving, fam!!

I'd love to say I've lost my voice from cheering so hard for Arsenal this week, but really it's from the latest iteration of the bubonic plague my 3-year-old brought home from daycare. I'm pretty sure it's evolved into bronchitis by now.

Mucus aside, there's lots I'm thankful for in my life. But we're going to skip all the personal stuff and focus solely on the EPL, because there's plenty to be thankful for there, too.

Unless you're a Tottenham supporter – but I've been looking 4-1 on this page, and can't find any.

Eberechi Eze

To borrow a line from Leslie Knope of "Parks & Rec": "Eze, you beautiful, talented, glorious, opalescent tree shark."

Eze dropped his first-ever career hat-trick in the North London Derby, casually helping Arsenal demolish Tottenham 4–1. The beating was so comprehensive that both Spurs manager Thomas Frank and goalkeeper Guglielmo Vicario apologized to fans afterward. Imagine getting cooked so badly you have to issue a public statement.

And clearly, the scriptwriters really hate Tottenham.

Because Eze's whole arc? Released from Arsenal, his boyhood club at 13. On the verge of a transfer to Tottenham this summer but made a last-ditch phone call to Mikel Arteta to see if there was any chance he could go to Arsenal. Landed at Arsenal instead. Listened to Thomas Frank casually diss him in the pre-match interview. Then scored a hat-trick against Tottenham in the NLD.

For context, there hasn't been a hat-trick in the NLD in the Premier League era.

Yeah, that's the stuff of great cinema.

Ebz, I'm thankful for you.

Big Gabi

Our Brazilian wall is sidelined for around a month through injury, but do you think a little thigh boo-boo stopped him from turning up at the Emirates and cheering on his team as they whupped Tottenham's behind? NO IT DID NOT.

Big Gabi's one of our star players, but he's also just a fan. And I love that about him.

Thankful for you, Mr. Magalhaes!!

Harvey Barnes

19th time's the charm! After losing 16 times and tying twice against Pep Guardiola's City side, Mr. Eddie Howe finally got a win.

Never give up, folks.

The win was thanks to Harvey Barnes' double, and my family erupted as he scored his second goal to go up on City.

We're obviously not Newcastle fans (although my brother did have a misguided period in his youth where he supported the Magpies), but Newcastle's win against City put Arsenal 7 points clear of Pep's side, who, in recent years have been our biggest challengers.

Mr. Barnes also came through for me when I bet on him to score in the Champions League, so I'm feeling thankful all around.

Sean Dyche

Every week, I think to myself, "It can't possibly get any worse for Liverpool," and every week, Arne Slot's all "hold my beer."

This week brought two new lows for the Reds, the first of which came via a 3-0 battering by Nottingham Forest. It was the first time since 1964 that Forest have won back-to-back games at Anfield AND it was also Liverpool's 6th loss in 7 Premier League games.

Not that we're counting. (We're absolutely counting.)

Liverpool followed that up with an awful 1-4 performance in the Champions League against a very mid PSV team. The fans then demonstrated their famous “You’ll Never Walk Alone” spirit by… walking out together in the second half.

While I'm thankful for Liverpool's collapse (Arsenal now sit 11 points clear of the Reds), I'm most thankful for what Sean Dyche has done with Forest since inheriting the mess Ange Postecoglou left behind. He’s turned them from chaos merchants into chaos merchants who can actually win football matches.

(Plus, my dad’s from the Leicester/Nottingham area, so I’m genetically required to have a soft spot.)

Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall

One of many running jokes in our household is that my husband insists on having Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall on his Fantasy Premier League team. I've pointed out the futility of this many times – to which my husband always responds, "but he starts every game!"

So we now lovingly call him Dingleberry-Hall. But this week, my husband was vindicated when Dingleberry-Hall scored the winner against Manchester United, and it was a genuinely gorgeous goal.

Meanwhile, the Red Devils still managed to lose against a 10-man Everton side after Idrissa Gueye lost his mind and slapped his own teammate, Michael Keane.

Somewhere The United Strand fan is screaming into a webcam because he knows he's never going to get a haircut.

Everton’s win was also David Moyes’ first at Old Trafford as Everton manager. So congrats to Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall and the entire Everton squad... except for Gueye, who's in timeout.

Thankful for you guys.

Noni Madueke

It feels like a long time ago now, but Noni Madueke got lots of flack from fans when Arsenal first signed him this summer.

We weren't exactly chomping at the bit for another Chelsea castoff, particularly one who once got in a spat with Cole Palmer and Nicholas Jackson over who was taking a penalty.

But Noni has settled in well at London's other, more superior team. And returning from injury, he scored his first goal for the Arsenal against Bayern Munich in the Champions League. What a time to be alive!

The goal put us up 2-1 against the German giants and we went on to win the game 3-1.

Thankful for you, Noni.

Cole Palmer

Last but never least, Cole "Cold" Palmer remains the gift that keeps on giving.

Whether he's genuinely baffled by the concept of "AM" and "PM" (peep it below), or attempting to go "incognito" at Notting Hill Carnival like a man who's never once Googled himself, he is unintentionally one of the funniest people in football.

He’s been out since September with an injury, and just when it looked like he was turning a corner, he suffered a setback after stubbing his toe at home and fracturing it.

I think he just lost a game of FIFA and took out his frustration on a door.

This is the most Cole Palmer coded thing ever: simultaneously hilarious and ridiculous.

I hope to see him back on the pitch soon... just maybe not against Arsenal.

And with that, I'll leave you to enjoy the games this weekend. May your work inbox be stuck at 0, may your leftovers never run out, and may Arsenal beat Chelsea to round out the perfect week.