Gameweek 13: The Headlines

Did you know that 38% of Americans experience heightened stress over the holidays? If you fall among this percentage, I come with encouraging tidings.

You're probably under less stress than Pep Guardiola and his beleaguered Manchester City side.

A reminder that we're talking about the same man who gouged a crater in his nose due to stress as City recently blew a 3-0 lead in the Champion's League.

Fast forward to Sunday's loss at Anfield, and the Liverpool home crowd was singing that Pep was getting "sacked in the morning." Following the match, City center back Ruben Dias lost his chill and snapped at a reporter who asked him how City is dealing with their poor run of form. Ruben's response:

"You know that you're talking to one of the players of one of the teams in the world that has won the most in recent years? Have a think about that and be sure that we know how to deal with it."

Touchy touchy!

So in contrast to that, you're doing just fine. Actually, in the words of Kris Kardashian,

Ready for the week in review?

Dubai?

Last year, Arsenal weathered a tough few weeks in December. Manager Mikel Arteta's response was to fly the lads and their families to Dubai. Upon their return, the Gunners were back to their best, netting 5 or 6 goals a game.

The desert air! It really works wonders!

The question is, has Mikel secretly whisked the players off to Dubai in the past month? And we didn't know about it?

Because Arsenal are now back to their free-flowing best; in the past three games, they've scored a combined 13 goals and conceded three. Saturday's match against West Ham (in which Arsenal scored five goals) even saw the return of the beloved chant,

"Who put the ball in the West Ham net? Half the f***ing team did!"

Or, I guess you could chalk it up to the Martin Odegaard-Bukayo Saka effect. Of the aforementioned 13 goals, eight of them were either scored or assisted (or both) by Saka and Odegaard. Not only is Odegaard a brilliant creative player, he takes the heat off Saka (who's often double-marked), so that he plays better.

Saka tends to fizzle out towards the end of the season – I get it, I sometimes get tired going up the stairs too fast – but right now, he's on fire. With 10 assists (and counting), our Starboy is also on track to break the Premier League record of most assists in a single season. The great Thierry Henry holds that record with 20 assists, if you're wondering.

I'm making daily tributes to the football gods to ensure that Saka and Odegaard stay healthy, and I fully expect you to do the same, thank you in advance!

Aston Villa's collapsing form

There have been a couple nice surprises so far this season, for example, Nottingham Forest's resurgence and striker Chris Woods' prolific goalscoring form. A less pleasant surprise is Aston Villa.

Last season, Villa were the talk of the table as they managed to nab a coveted Champion's League spot. But this season, playing Champion's League games has left the team exhausted and overextended, kind of like how I feel when I open my computer and stare blankly at my inbox on Monday mornings.

On Sunday, Villa looked dead on their feet against a very good Chelsea side who were scoring goals for fun. So, is it just fatigue to blame for the Villain's poor form? Or something else? Because it's now been eight games in a row without a win (and five of them have been losses).

Villa manager Unai Emery spent his post-match press conference yapping about other teams "getting stronger," but this feels like an avoidance tactic. You know what all the self-help books say: Focus on yourself! Comparison is the thief of joy!

If we're focusing on Villa, the data says they are declining defensively. This has been true for a while, but last season they overperformed in expected goals, which papered over the cracks. Now, they're underperforming.

Another Champion's League finish might simply be asking for too much.

Mo Salah Mo Problem

Is there anything in the world that can stop Mo Salah right now? The man is unstoppable. He eats goals for breakfast.

Another goal at Anfield on Sunday means that he leads the race for the Golden Boot. Happily, the Liverpool admin clearly saw my post last week admonishing the Reds for dropping the ball re: Mo's contract. News this week is that contract talks are "ongoing."

But what does that mean? That's like when my boss tells me he's working on something and asks me to "throw time on the cal" to "chat." Newsflash: We never chat.

In some way, it's slightly comforting to me to know that even the great Egyptian King deals with corporate BS. Mo is said to be "exasperated" with Liverpool's handling of things, and while he'd be open to accepting another one-year contract, he's turning an ear to other offers. PSG are among the suitors said to be showing an interest.

One of the issues is that when a player gets to be his age (32), fitness is no guarantee AND they cost the club a ton of money. But in Mo's case, Liverpool should just bite the bullet. He is worth it. This is his best return in Fantasy Premier League, after all!

If you need a reminder on the importance of self-belief in the workplace, just listen to Mo talk about captaining himself every week. It's inspirational.

Salah: I captain myself in FPL all season!

This is GOLD! Mohamed Salah is buzzing for the return of Fantasy Premier League

Premier League Logo

Ruud Van Nistelrooy's second act

Last week, I boldly proclaimed that Graham Potter would be the next Leicester City manager (after Steve Cooper was fired).

Well, I was wrong. Dad, you were right!

For some inexplicable reason, LCF replaced Steve Cooper–a man who has four years experience as head manager in the Premier League, and who won the 2017 FIFA U-17 World Cup with the England U17s–with Ruud Van Nistelrooy, a guy who once played at Manchester United.

OK, that's not entirely fair. Ruud was a total legend at Man U, scoring 150 goals for the Red Devils, and he started as a coaching intern in 2013 with PSV Eindhoven. Still, it's an interesting choice because Ruud's never been head manager before. It's in line with the current trend of former EPL stars dipping their toe into the turbulent, managerial waters, which has seen mixed success.

But Ruud has already distinguished himself from Frank Lampard in more ways than one. Firstly, the man's got serious swag. See Exhibit A.

And Exhibit B.

Secondly, Ruud's not afraid to make bold tactical choices. His decision to bench Leicester City defender Wout Faes (who started every league game for the team in the past year) raised eyebrows. Instead, Ruud paired Conor Coady and Jannik Vestergaard in the back. Both are older players who lack pace, but bring some much-needed experience to the side. Additionally, Ruud brought together Bilal El Khannouss and Facundo Buonanotte, whereas previous coaches had opted to start one or the other.

It paid off. Bilal scored and Leicester beat West Ham 3-1.

Next on the potential managerial chopping block? Wolves head coach Gary O'Neil, and West Ham manager Julen Lopetegui. Because where one manager succeeds, another falls.

The festive season sees an influx of games (it's the most wonderful time of year, after all!), so the matches for Gameweek 14 have already concluded. In other words, I'll be seeing you really soon.