Gameweek 16: Gif Reactions

Work stress is one thing, but Arsenal-related stress is another thing entirely. On any given matchday, the squad can take years off my life.

On Saturday, my husband and I took our 3-year-old to our local Arsenal bar (shoutout @Chattagooners!!) for what I was confident would be a walk in the park against rock-bottom Wolves.

Watching Arsenal toil against a low block for 70 minutes before finally scoring was painful, but then our daughter got bored and we left. Twenty minutes later, I was browsing books at a bookstore, blissfully unaware that Wolves had equalized. I didn't look at my phone until Arsenal scored again 4 minutes later, and thank God for that. (I might have had an aneurysm.)

After the match, Arsenal legend Ian Wright said we all need to "get behind the boys" and I am doing that, but I'm also not not saying that my mental health has taken some hits this season.

Which brings me to this week’s coping mechanism: reacting to every Premier League game in GIF form. I have nothing better to do, clearly.

Crystal Palace vs. Manchester City

Final score: Manchester City 3 - Crystal Palace 0

You know how in "Dune" when the evil Baron Harkonnen gets out of his oil bath or whatever and he's all creepy and huge and sinister?

That's how I feel about the way City keeps creeping on Arsenal. City look ominous now that more people beyond Haaland are scoring, and damnit, Haaland's still scoring, too. Those tomahawk steaks and raw milk keep on working out for him.

Chelsea vs. Everton

Final score: Chelsea 2 - Everton 0

Hey, Chelsea! Some days you win, some days you lose, but it doesn't matter, and no one cares because you're not title challengers.

Although, I won't pretend I didn't enjoy manager Enzo Maresca's post-match rant where he was basically like, "Well some people don't support us and that's too bad for me."

Mhmm. In the past 48 hours, I forgot my kid’s Christmas party, was informed by her teacher that I had apparently promised to bake cookies for it (lies), and had to deliver a creative deck under pressure — and somehow I managed not to complain publicly about it.

...Until now.

Liverpool vs. Brighton

Final score: Liverpool 2 - Brighton 0

This one goes out to you, Mo Salah.

One media interview was enough for you to torpedo things up in Merseyside, and who knows if you'll be coming back after AFCON.

I may be a little bit premature in saying this, but sayonara to one of the greats.

Burnley vs. Fulham

Final score: Fulham 3 - Burnley 2

Mr. Harry Wilson, take a bow. I’ve always been a casual admirer, but lately the Welshman has been straight-up channeling his inner Messi. Everyone’s talking about how incredible he’s been, and the hype truly feels deserved.

And yeah, Burnley isn't exactly the Premier League's strongest side right now, and Fulham still conceded two goals, but I'll forgive a little chaos so long as Harry keeps performing.

Arsenal vs. Wolves

Final score: Arsenal 2 - Wolves 1

Arsenal did end up winning this match, but at great cost to my mental health. Days later, I would still like to forget the last few minutes of it ever happened, please and thank you.

(A note from my husband who gets a preview of this blog before I publish: Brooke, that's a little dramatic!)

Nottingham Forest vs. Spurs

Final score: Nottingham Forest 3 - Spurs 0

Spurs really be out here being extra Spurs-y.

Thomas Frank is a good coach, and I wasn't the only one who thought he'd boost the team after their dismal two seasons under Ange. Instead… well. Here we are.

Pundits are busy yapping about Thomas's job being in jeopardy, and I get it. Tottenham's attack has been blunt, their defense does dumb things, and getting beat by Nottingham Forest 3-0 is just embarrassing, though not as embarrassing as getting slaughtered 4-1 by Arsenal.

Three points isn't for everybody, I guess!

Sunderland vs. Newcastle

Final score: Sunderland 1 - Newcastle 0

I've only been vaguely following the 50 Cent/P. Diddy saga, and even that's enough to tell me that 50 Cent is a messy b***h who lives for drama.

Sort of like Sunderland.

Sunderland needed an OG from the German giant Nick Woltemade to beat Newcastle 1-0, but they truly didn't care how they beat their biggest local rivals, as long as they did.

And Sunderland were so gloriously petty about it that they refused to even put Newcastle’s name on the scoreboard, instead labeling them simply as “Visitors.” Then, just to really twist the knife, they recreated Newcastle’s FA Cup celebration photo on their pitch after their win. The scoreline may have been 1-0 but the pettiness was 10 out of 10!

P.S. ^^A moment of silence for these poor Newcastle bros who showed up at the pub at 6AM to drink themselves silly ahead of the Wear-Tyne derby.

West Ham - Aston Villa

Final score: West Ham 2 - Aston Villa 3

Aston Villa, Unai Emery, Morgan Rogers, Emiliano Buendia, all of you guys, if you're reading this, everybody hates you and no one likes you. I know you care what I think of you.

Brentford vs. Leeds

Final score: Brentford 1 - Leeds 1

Read the gif. B-O-R-I-N-G.

Manchester United vs. Bournemouth

Final score: Manchester United 4 - Bournemouth 4

THIS is the appropriate reaction when there are 8 goals in one game and you're a neutral.

What a fun time (for everyone except Bruno Fernandes).

Because I live to troll Chelsea/United/City/Tottenham, I have to add that this scoreline is extra hilarious coming right after Arsenal’s win.

Both of Arsenal’s goals against Wolves were own goals, so technically, Manchester United scored four times… and still didn’t win. Meanwhile, Arsenal didn’t score a single goal of their own and still walked away with three points. Football math!

And now, if you read this far, you get a lil treat. Please enjoy Mr. Erling Haaland cosplaying as Santa Claus in Manchester... I know I did.

Happy holidays!!