Gameweek 25: The Headlines

Welcome, y'all.

This week I've been desperately struggling with an overflowing to-do list and thus channeling this post from Bustle.

I've got lots to chat with you about, including:

• J.J. Watt & James' Trafford's bet
• An unlikely No 9 in Arsenal's Mikel Merino
• Everton's resurgence under David Moyes
• Liverpool's recent wobbles + the Title Race

Make like the itsy bitsy spider and lock in.

James Trafford + J.J. Watt = <3 <3

Valentine's Day was a long time ago, but Burnley goalkeeper James Trafford is still making heart eyes at J.J. Watt.

A little context first: If you're a sports fan, you might recognize J.J. Watt as a former NFL player. Since retiring, he's become co-owner of Burnley F.C., a former Premier League team that now plays in the Championship.

In December, Burnley 'keeper James Trafford (coincidently, a huge Cincinnati Bengals fan), hit up J.J with a favor.

James asked J.J. to pull a Brett Favre and play for the Bengals one more time. J.J. let him know he'd do it ... but only if James didn't concede another goal for the rest of the season.

And James hasn't since that convo! Burnley just made history as the first Championship team to record 10 clean sheets in a row. (It's now 11 clean sheets, BTW.)

James said he'd originally reached out to J.J. because he was "watching a Bengals game and the quarterback Joe Burrow was getting thrown about a bit, and I thought I'd just message [J.J] for a bit of banter."

Look at what he started.

Mr. Watt, looking forward to seeing you in Ohio next season!

In the words of Bonnie Tyler, I need a heroooo

Shoutout to my dad who came up to see my husband, daughter, and I this past weekend.

We were having a grand old time sitting down with our black tea to watch the Premier League, as good British (or in my case, half-British) people do.

You know who wasn't having a grand old time? Raheem Sterling Arsenal.

Oh, we were dominating the ball, pressing well, and making some incisive passing ... but crumpling like a house of cards in front of goal.

Let me be clear: It's not totally our fault. The attacking half of our squad has been beset by injury, with Saka, Jesus, and Havertz all having undergone surgery. Martinelli is also out for a few weeks.

We're in such dire straits that defender William Saliba, god bless him, offered to play up top.

Watching Raheem Sterling, once an incredible player, look like a shadow of himself on the pitch made me sad. Clearly, it made manager Mikel Arteta sad too because he swapped out Raz for Mikel Merino, our makeshift center forward.

A midfielder by trade, M squared is an intelligent player. And it was his smart positioning and aerial prowess that made the difference. Boom! Get in there!

Kudos to our academy players: Myles Lewis-Skelly, who made a game-saving block minutes before the first goal, and Ethan Nwaneri, who assisted the first goal and was a bright spark throughout the game.

Up the Toffees

You may remember at the beginning of the season, when I spotlighted Everton's woes. At the time, they were "circling the drain," to quote Rebecca Lowe.

A couple weeks ago, their ex-manager Sean Dyche basically told leadership he felt he'd taken the team as far as he could. (Sean, I feel you buddy.) Enter David Moyes, or as I like to call him, Moist David.

Under Moist David, Everton have taken 13 points from 6 games, including one point from an incredible draw with league leaders Liverpool. The only team to match this record at the moment is Arsenal.

The secret sauce? Moist David is:

• Utilizing Jake O'Brien as right-back
• Granting attackers more freedom
• Providing detailed individual feedback and analysis sessions for his players

Everton are flying up the table, which means more pressure on Manchester United.

Newcastle, you good?

I was thoroughly disappointed to see Newcastle play with all the charisma of day-old fast food against Manchester City. This was supposed to be a showdown between Isak and Haaland, but instead, Omar Marmoush was the one who made headlines.

And not to take anything away from Omar, who got a hat trick, but his goals came courtesy of glaring defensive errors.

Route 1 football 🤝 Kieran Trippier.

Newcastle were so bad, they made City believe the days of treble-winning success were back. (They're not; City just got knocked out of the Champions League.)

But you have to wonder why Newcastle just rolled over? They've been firing on all cylinders lately, with Isak looking especially potent. Yet historically, Newcastle have performed badly at the Etihad, losing 16 successive matches and failing to score in their past 6 games at this ground.

I guess they just succumbed to their demons.

Liverpool's wobble

It's still Liverpool's title race to lose, but the cracks are showing.

Let's take the last 7 matches (in all competitions) as a sample size. Arsenal took 16 points out of a possible 21, while Liverpool took 11.

Most recently in the Premier League, Liverpool drew against Aston Villa and Everton, the latter match of which ended in a brawl and three red cards. Sandwiched in between those games was a narrow win against Wolves.

Meanwhile, Arsenal have won their last three Premier League games.

Last season, Liverpool faded from the title race towards the end.

Will they do the same this year? Are they overly reliant on Salah? Will Arsenal be able to cobble together an attacking line? Will the title race come down to the Arsenal-Liverpool game at Anfield?

To the last one, I say most probably.

But all I really know is that we're better off without Manchester City's dominance. City of old gave us a feeling of inevitability, like there was nothing anybody could do to stop their slow roll to glory.

Liverpool and Arsenal are both flawed teams. We don't know who will prevail. And that's what makes it fun.

As always, COYG!