Gameweek 34: The Headlines

Welcome to another double game week (and weekend of FA Cup action) that's reminded us of just how petty the world of football can be.

What's to differentiate between Nottingham Forest and any of the Real Housewives this week, hmm? They're both rich, desperate, convinced they've been cheated on, and taking to social media with a bottle of wine in a misguided attempt to air their grievances.

But Nottingham Forest's latest hissy fit is just the tip of the iceberg.

From Manchester United and Coventry's dramatic penalty shootout, to Pep Guardiola's histrionics, to Liverpool's shock loss at Goodison Park, to Arsenal's rout of their bitter rivals Chelsea in a historic London derby, this week had it all.

Here's how it went down.

Nottingham Forest goes nuclear

Nottingham Forest really feel they've been done dirty this season.

Earlier in March, Forest lost 1-0 to Liverpool due to a controversial refereeing decision that gave Liverpool the ball in the dying stages of the game. But if you thought Forest owner Evangelos Marinakis' decision to chase referee Paul Tierney into the tunnel and yell "RESPECT THE PLAYERS" was bold, this week escalated things still further.

In a match up at the bottom, Forest lost 2-0 to Everton. However, Forest felt they should have been given penalties in three separate instances. The referee and Video Assistant Referee (VAR)'s decision not to award the penalties was the straw that broke the camel's back.

The full time whistle had barely blown before Forest went full scorched earth on X. Their statement is below.

It's giving Al Pacino on a power trip.

By calling out the fact that the VAR is a fan of a rival team, Forest is insinuating that the VAR intentionally tampered with the outcome of the match and therefore, accusing the Premier League of corruption.

The English Football Association responded, calling Nottingham Forest's actions "inappropriate" and adding that they'd be "investigating" the club's statement.

Meanwhile, pundits mostly sided with the Premier League. Sky Sports announcer Gary Neville said that Nottingham Forest, "[let] the proud history of that club down, and the inferred cheating, suggesting the official is a Luton Town fan, is absolutely ridiculous. I don't even know what 'explore all options' means."

Fellow Sky Sports man Jamie Carragher agreed with Gary and added that Forest's statement sounded like an aggrieved fan drunkenly ranting down at the local pub.

The win that was not a win

On the subject of aggrieved clubs, Manchester United battled to a humiliating win against Coventry in the FA Cup semi final.

Friendly reminder that Coventry is a mid-tier team in the Championship, the league below the Premier League. Manchester United is one of the most storied, decorated, and monied teams of all time.

But for one errant toenail, Coventry would have beaten them.

In the second half, Manchester United let their sizable lead slip away as they imploded from within. Meanwhile, Coventry scored three goals in rapid succession. The game went to overtime and Coventry scored a fourth, only for VAR to call back the goal due to the most infinitesimal of offside calls.

United went on to win the game in penalties. Then, because nothing is simple and we can't ever have nice things, United striker Antony — who contributed nothing to the game — chose to mock the Coventry players.

Social media exploded. The Premier League king of s***housery himself, Neal Maupay, tweeted, "Not even I would do this."

Antony attempted to defend his actions by posting a statement that said Coventry players were mean to him.

Today is Thursday, and this drama has been snowballing all week. I imagine Antony's publicist is very tired.

Per The U.S. Sun, other United players appeared "too embarrassed to celebrate" after a toenail proved to be the single deciding factor between them and their opponents.

Credit to United defender Harry Maguire, who went over to shake his opponents' hands, later praising them on Instagram. Harry is a decent human being and it's not his fault he has an enormous head.

Meanwhile, United manager Erik Ten Hag continues his press conference tour of delusion, insisting that beating Coventry and advancing to the FA Cup final is a huge achievement.

Angry Pep

In another FA Cup semi final, a fatigued Manchester City side barely edged out a much fresher Chelsea squad. Speaking on the scoreline after the game, City manager Pep Guardiola angrily denounced the league for having the audacity to schedule games too closely together.

For context, City had played earlier in the week on Wednesday, when they lost in the Champion's League quarterfinal to Real Madrid. Pep told BBC Sport, "It's unacceptable. It's really unacceptable. Coventry, United, Chelsea [other teams in the FA Cup] don't play in the week and they had us play today." He added, "It's impossible. For the health of the players. It's not normal ... I don't understand how we survived today."

This grinds my gears because Arsenal, who also played in the Champion's League quarterfinals on Wednesday, played on Saturday too. Then, they turned around and played on Tuesday! By the time they play Tottenham on Sunday, they'll have played five games in two weeks (compared to Tottenham's two).

Other fans took offense because the Manchester City squad has more depth and resources than any other.

Pep isn't wrong about the impact that the demanding schedule has on the players, but the problem is far from unique to him. TalkSPORT's Simon Jordan essentially told the Spanish manager to "shut up," rationalizing that a chunk of City's money comes from broadcast revenue. "You can't take all of the upside and none of the downside," he said, in criticism of Pep's martyr act.

The title race

Of course, we can't talk about Pep without mentioning the title race. Are you getting sick of me talking about it yet?

Anyway, this week gave us a major plot twist. After beating Wolves 2-0 on Saturday, Arsenal thrashed their London neighbors 5-0 at the Emirates. Barring the traveling Chelsea support, a fun time was had by all. See: Benny Blanco scoring by accident and Martin Odegaard's girlfriend dancing to "Waka Waka."

The Chelsea admin was extra petty by refusing to name Kai Havertz in the scoring updates — but the joke's on them, because by the time you've finished reading this post, Arsenal has probably scored again.

Job done by the Gunners.

The plot twist came when Liverpool lost to Everton at Goodison Park yesterday, effectively turning our three-horse title race into a frenzied two-horse gallop for the finish. A sad Jurgen Klopp issued an apology to fans now that their dreams of hoisting the Premier League trophy have all but gone up in (blue) smoke. And an angry Virgil van Dijk said his team didn't deserve to be champions after such a lackluster performance.

As I write this now, Manchester City look to be cruising to an easy victory over Brighton. A win would put them a point behind Arsenal with a game in hand.

Things are still very interesting.