Gameweek 36: The Headlines

One of the reasons the Premier League is the greatest league in the world is because anyone can beat anyone.

Sure, it takes a special mindset to beat the likes of Manchester City or Arsenal, but a few other Big Six clubs like Tottenham and Manchester United are wishing the season would just end already.

I hope you've all had great week thus far — but if not, know that your Friday is still going better than Erik Ten Hag's.

Let's get right into it, shall we?

That Manchester United drubbing by Crystal Palace

Never in history has Crystal Palace beaten Manchester United twice in a season — until now. And this was more of a bloodbath than a football match.

In a game they never really showed up for, Manchester United was outfought, outplayed, and outwitted at every turn.

The Red Devils have now equaled their highest tally of goals conceded (81 and counting) since 1976. As it stands now, this will be their worst league finish in history.

Because Manchester United has tormented lesser teams for decades, a breakdown like this feels almost cathartic. We are witnessing one of the franchise's lowest points, which — to quote the great philosopher Taylor Swift — could be chalked up to "Karma."

Or in this case, the absence of Bruno Fernandes and Harry Maguire, coupled with Casemiro's abysmal defending. Take your pick!

Go find a Man U fan and give them a hug. Seriously.

Lest I be too petty in dwelling on Manchester United's woes, I'd like to give credit to an amazing Palace side. They've shaken off the lethargy of the Roy Hodgson era and emerged, chrysalis-like, into a confident, attacking squad. One of the more "dynamic sides in the Premier League," you might say!

Also, the pure joy on Michael Olise's face when he ran into his manager's arms for a hug after the second goal was truly heartwarming.

Palace manager Oliver Glasner told The Athletic that he'd spoken to Michael after the team's 1-1 draw at Fulham, where Michael was disappointed not to have scored.

"Very often [Michael] shoots far post and I said, 'Maybe try the near post, the goalkeeper might be surprised,'" Oliver explained. "He shot at the near post [this time] and scored the goal."

Chelsea's surprise return to form

Elsewhere in the league, Arsenal and Manchester City continue firing on all cylinders as the title race goes down to the wire. But like Crystal Palace, there's another team surprising everyone with their current form ... Cole Palmer FC!

It appears the same Chelsea team that got thrashed 5-0 by Arsenal last month are pulling it together — although that statement comes with a huge asterisk attached to it.

Chelsea still have their struggles on the road, but when playing at Stamford Bridge, they've won the joint-most home games as Arsenal and Manchester City. Even Nicholas Jackson scores there.

Chelsea, who have ricocheted wildly between staggering defeats and surprising wins, shocked everyone (me) by beating a hapless Tottenham Hotspurs side last Thursday.

Rather than question how the same Spurs team who showed zero signs of life against Chelsea will even have a shot against Manchester City on Tuesday, I'm choosing to look on the bright side.

What bright side, you ask? If Chelsea can finish out this season on a respectable note by clinching a spot in Europe, I can get through the end of the workday with a smile.

Cristian Romero & Emerson Royal hash it out

Speaking of Tottenham ...

Someone tell Cristian Romero that he's supposed to fight the other team, not his own teammates!

Actually, I guess Tottenham 'keeper Vicario did do that.

Cristian got into it with his teammate and fellow defender Emerson Royal during last weekend's match against Liverpool. This was following a dreadful first half when Spurs all but rolled over for the Reds, going down 4-0 after an hour.

Considering Cristian is liable to kick someone in the shin on a good day, it's not surprising he was at the heart of this little spat.

The whole thing is giving shades of Sheffield United, when Jack Robinson and Vinicius Souza came to blows and almost got red carded. Fun times!

Pundits gave the fight a positive spin, because fights can make for good TV. (Ask a hockey fan.)

"Do you know what? I genuinely don't mind that kind of behavior because it means you care about the game," Sky Sports' Roy Keane said. "But they should have that type of aggression in their defending and in their play."

Tottenham manager Ange Postecoglou also brushed off Cristian and Emerson's spat. However, he grew up in the Land Down Under, where fights between crocs and humans are a part of everyday life — so to him, a fight on the pitch is all water under the Sydney Harbor Bridge.

"They care, mate. They care," Ange told reporters. "I'd hate to think that [Cristian and Emerson] were skipping into the tunnel holding hands. They care and when they care, that's a good thing."

Suspect social media activity

As you continue skimming (kudos if you've read this far), I'm pleased to share that the fights and petty behavior occur outside of match days, too.

Let's transition from the pitch to Instagram, where this week, Tottenham's Richarlison and Liverpool's Darwin Nunez both proved that they're just 20-something guys with underdeveloped frontal lobes.

Let's start with Richarlison.

Two weeks ago (ish), Tottenham was beaten at home by Arsenal. It ended up being a nervy last few minutes, and things got pretty physical between Richarlison and Arsenal defender Gabriel Margalhaes.

Following the game, Richarlison reposted a TikTok video of himself and Gabriel, captioned, "Brazil's first choice striker vs Brazil's last choice CB."

While it's true Richarlison has had more success than Gabriel playing at the national level, no one in their right mind would ever name Richarlison in the same breath as Brazilian's great strikers (including, most currently, Neymar).

Furthermore, Gabriel has enjoyed huge success at the club level. The same cannot be said of Richarlison.

So, sure — petty, but we're moving on. However, this week, Richarlison continued his quest to be relevant by posting a nonsensical doctored post that appeared to be an apology of sorts?

Again...

Darwin Nunez's situation is somehow, even pettier.

Like Chelsea's Nicholas Jackson, the Liverpool striker is prone to missing the goal, which is sort of a problem when you play up top.

As a result, Darwin has been subjected to social media abuse. Fans are unhappy that he came from Benfica with such a high price tag, and has yet to really prove his worth. Things reached a new low this week when the Uruguayan inexplicably deleted all Liverpool content from his Instagram page.

It's prompted speculation that Darwin may leave Liverpool at the end of the season, especially with a new manager coming in. But current manager Jurgen Klopp debunked rumors that Darwin could be heading to Barcelona next, saying, "There is what? There is no speculation. It must be external because I don't know about this."

Whatever happens, keep your eyes on the Reds. Next season is bound to be interesting, with so much change on the horizon.