Gameweek 7: Everything you probably missed

Another week, another 2-0 Arsenal victory in the bag.

Headlines this week focused on Liverpool's three consecutive losses for the first time in the Arne Slot era, Arsenal sitting pretty at the top of the Premier League table (get used to it!!), and Ange Postecoglou's ongoing woes, but there was a lot you probably missed.

Before we get into the off-pitch drama, please take a moment to appreciate the French National Team, who rolled up to training camp this week looking très chic. 🇫🇷✨

Rest assured there's always modeling if football doesn't work out.

Chat GPT, how do you say "they ate and left no crumbs" in French?

Et maintenant, nous commençons...

Grealish for England

It's wild how much more I enjoy Jack Grealish now that he's no longer playing for Manchester City. Jack himself seems way happier in Merseyside.

Tell me this isn't the face of a man who's loving life right now.

This picture was snapped seconds after Jack scored a last-gasp winner against Crystal Palace–formerly, the only undefeated team in the league. Fair play, sir.

I'm not even an Everton fan, but I enjoyed this immensely. I also enjoyed Jack's IG post, mainly because his captions sound exactly like how he talks and treat correct punctuation as a mere suggestion.

The Everton admin, however, is still bound by the laws of grammar and wasted no time updating their X bio to a pithy: "Grealish for England."

@thomas tuchel, take notes!

Bukayo Saka ... running down the wing...

Remember when Bukayo Saka was 18 years old and playing left back?

No? Neither do I.

The Bukayo of 2025 is a man transformed. At 24, he’s already hit 100 goal contributions (55 goals, 45 assists) in 200 appearances—making him the sixth-youngest player in Arsenal’s history to reach that milestone. Elite company, indeed.

Since bursting onto the Premier League scene in 2019, only eight players have registered more goal contributions than he has. And let’s not forget that he’s not even a striker.

Bukayo scored his 100th goal contribution on Saturday against West Ham, and while I was slightly salty that Viktor Gyökeres did not take the penalty, I still won my FPL game, so all is forgiven.

B is a legend in the making, so it seems only fitting that he was congratulated on his milestone by the Arsenal king himself, Thierry Henry.

Things you love to see: kings supporting kings.

Justice for Riccardo Calafiori

Mikel Arteta himself has said that Riccardo Calafiori brings "chaotic energy" to the team–in a good way, of course. An example of said chaos would be that time he made headlines for using a towel.

During Arsenal's match against Newcastle, Calafiori at one point tried to dry the ball with a towel before a throw-in, only for referee Jarred Gillett to swoop in, confiscate the towel, and return it to the sideline.

Apparently, under Premier League rules, both clubs have to agree before kickoff if towels are allowed for drying the ball (yes, that’s a real thing). Since Arsenal and Newcastle hadn’t agreed, Calafiori’s towel antics technically broke protocol.

Thankfully, justice was served a week later. During Arsenal’s match against West Ham, Calafiori was allowed to use a towel, and he was so delighted that it made his Instagram story.

Enzo Maresca lets loose

What has two thumbs, one red card, and looks just like the Michelin Man?

This guy.

His questionable devotion to puffer jackets aside, Chelsea fans absolutely loved watching Enzo Maresca lose his mind on the touchline. Chelsea had just beaten Liverpool in stoppage time—handing the Reds their third consecutive loss—despite a back line held together by duct tape and dreams. With Reece James (a natural right back) and 19-year-old Jorrel Hato anchoring center defense, Chelsea managed to do the impossible: shut down Liverpool's $400 million front line.

So yes, I think Enzo "Marshmallow" Maresca was justified in celebrating the way he did.

Of course, he was promptly handed a second yellow card for excessive celebration, but that only made fans love him more. Enzo doesn't have Klopp's charisma or Pep's aura; nor does he have the resume of Thomas Tuchel and Carlo Ancelotti. But the images of him screaming, running, and jumping to celebrate with his players are better than any talking points his public relations handler could write for him.

Still, I do have questions about the puffer jackets. It can't be THAT cold in early October, and yet both Enzo Maresca and Cole Palmer look like they're getting ready to join Luke and Leia on planet Hoth in Star Wars.

Cole Palmer, I guess, really is just cold as ice.

Misbehaving managers

Now, lest you go thinking Maresca's red card was an outlier this week....don't.

Embattled Wolves manager Vitor Pereira also saw red, though he did it with far less panache. His straight red card came because he kicked a ball into the broadcasters' dugout during a match against Brighton.

Poor Vitor. He immediately apologized–because he's Vitor, champion of the people, man of the pubs–but the damage was already done.

It left his assistant manager Luis Miguel struggling to pick up the pieces in the post-match interview. "It's not like his character to do that. It was one second of frustration. These things happen when we are under pressure," Miguel told reporters.

I get it. Sometimes, I wish I had a ball to kick at someone in a dugout, too.

Leeds fans can't stop throwing things

Last week, you may remember that I incorrectly predicted Leeds would beat Tottenham. What can I say? You know, I know, everybody knows that I hate Tottenham.

Sadly, Leeds lost 1-2, breaking their 23-game unbeaten streak at Elland Road. And the home fans took the L in stride, if you consider "taking it well" to mean "throwing random projectiles at Tottenham players."

Pedro Porro discovered a pink vape pen that someone allegedly threw at him while he was waiting to take a corner. (Somewhere in northern England, one fan is seriously regretting their life decisions RN.)

Separately, another genius appeared to throw a bottle at Mohammed Kudus' head as he celebrated his 57th minute goal.

According to reports, "Leeds and West Yorkshire Police have been approached for comment," but the Leeds fans have always been a bunch of projectile-throwing hooligans, so what are the police really going to do?

There was that time in 2022 when Anthony Elanga was hit by a coin at Elland Road; in 2021, Sergi Canos and Bryan Mbeumo were also pelted mid-game.

To be fair, Leeds are in great company. You know what other fan base takes a creative approach to littering? Tottenham.

Maybe next week, everyone can just keep their vapes, coins, bottles, and umbrellas, etc. in their pockets.

Ange Postecoglou under pressure

Ange! Missed you, mate!

I'd hoped to be out here speaking positively about the beginning of the Aussie's tenure at Forest, but results have fallen off a cliff declined ever since Nuno left.

Nottingham Forest have yet to win a game in the Premier League and they sit in 17th place, just one point above the drop zone. Compare that with this time last year, when they'd lost only once. Ange, unsurprisingly, has had to contend with media scrutiny, as well as snark and unrest from the fans.

And don't even get me started on how Evangelos Marinakis is handling things.

After Forest's latest loss at Newcastle, Ange resorted to the sort of desperate, vague, passive-aggressive bluster that screams “man who’s been through it.” Here's a snippet:

"'I had an option - I could have been sitting on a couch watching the game today and not been in the middle of it. I would much rather be here. I love a fight. So what if it's a fight, if it's a struggle? It's OK!"

What are you saying about people who sit on couches, Ange, huh? Some of us just want to suffer in peace.

It might be a little too early to be talking about "fights" and "struggles." Then again, maybe Ange should compare notes with Erik Ten Hag, who had the ignominious honor of being the first Bundesliga manager to be fired after only two league games in charge. That's a new record ICYMI.

We are living in unprecedented times indeed, both on and off the football pitch.

And with that uplifting thought, I’ll leave you to enjoy the international break—may your spirits stay higher than your club’s form!