Gameweek 9: The Headlines

When I was a teenager, I was into "America's Next Top Model." Not because I was into modeling, per say, but because I'm a product of the MTV generation. Holla!

Adult me now recognizes how highly problematic the show was. What can I say? The 2000s really was a wild time.

But the lack of "ANTM" reruns hasn't curbed my love for drama. I used to scurry home from work to watch dumpster fire shows like "Love Island," The Bachelor," or "Too Hot to Handle," because they reminded me that no matter how out-of-control my own life seemed, I was nowhere near as off the rails as the totally bonkers contestants.

These days, I have a two-year-old, and my family watches more sports than anything else.

I wish my 20-something-self had known that I could've just satiated my craving for drama with a good session of "Premier League Mornings." Riddle me this: What beats the high-octane drama of a stoppage-time winner? Or an on-the-field tussle? Or a controversial call by a referee?

This week certainly brought the drama–and then some. Ready?

Real Madrid boycotts the Ballon d'Or ceremony

We simply have to talk about the UEFA Ballon d'Or ceremony that took place on Monday. Every year since 1956, France Football has hosted the Ballon d'Or gala in recognition of the best men's and women's players in the world. Recent winners are people you've probably heard of, like Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi.

This year, Manchester City's Rodri was crowned the best footballer of 2024. Congrats to him! Very exciting! But if you thought the headline of the night was Rodri hobbling onstage to accept his Ballon d'Or trophy, then think again.

No, chatter coming out of the Ballon d'Or ceremony was all about Real Madrid.

You see, the Real Madrid franchise was angry because they felt their star player – Vinicius Jr. – deserved to win instead of Rodri. And once they found out that Vini Jr. was coming second to Rodri, THE ENTIRE TEAM boycotted the event.

Apparently, Vini Jr. had felt certain he would win football's highest honor. His staff had prepared travel arrangements for his inner circle. An after-party was in the works. Nike had already gone ahead and designed custom boots for Vini.

And then everyone found out that Rodri was going to be named the winner. Whomp whomp.

Real Madrid issued a statement:

"If the award criteria do not proclaim Vinicius Jr. the winner, those same criteria should proclaim [Dani Carvajal, Vini's teammate at Real Madrid] the winner. As this has not been the case, it is obvious that the UEFA Ballon d'Or does not respect Real Madrid. And Real Madrid [does not go] where it is not respected."

Um. Who needs reality TV when you have this level of pettiness?!

I'll leave you with two posts (among many) that were shared in support of Vini Jr.: one from his Real Madrid teammate Eduardo Camavinga, and another from his Brazilian compatriot, Arsenal star Gabriel Magalhaes. Make your own judgments!

Manchester United on the hunt for a coach

Back in England, it was full-tilt drama all weekend long. On Saturday, Manchester United lost in dramatic fashion to West Ham, who were not exactly deserved winners.

Manchester United had missed a glut of chances during full time, including Diogo Dalot's howler in front of an open goal.

There were 92 minutes on the clock when West Ham was awarded the softest of soft penalties. Jarrod Bowen duly stepped up to the spot and made it 2-1.

Erik Ten Hag moaned about the controversial decision, telling reporters after the game,

"I spoke with [the referees]. But the decision is made. There's no way back and that's football. That's a third time I have felt injustice in the season and it has a big impact on our team and on our scores and where we are in the table. It's not right."

It feels like every week brings a new and controversial refereeing/VAR call, and I can sympathize with Ten Hag. Especially because he was fired shortly after making these remarks!! I KNEW IT WAS COMING.

As of October 31, Man U have agreed to a deal to hire Ruben Amorim as their new head coach. He will officially take over beginning November 24.

Ruben is currently coaching at Sporting Lisbon and he fits the same profile as Erik Ten Hag – non Premier League coach, winning credentials, in possession of a clear philosophy – so you could say the Board has a type. But whether or not Ruben will guide the Red Devils back to winning ways remains to be seen.

I imagine the Man U head coaching job is one of the toughest, most high-pressure ones out there right now (second only to the England job).

Pep Guardiola is a hype man

Have you guys ever noticed that Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola is especially nice when speaking about struggling teams?

I was reminded of this when Pep complimented Southampton coach Russell Martin on Saturday, shortly after City had just beaten them. Pep said,

"I am going to learn a lot with Russell because they did really well. The way they played, they are so demanding. They defend with the ball ... and they are really good (at it), one of the best in the Premier League."

To quote Jack Grealish, "wut."

Southampton sit in last place and they have 1 point from a possible 27. Is Pep just being patronizing? Or mean?

Actually, neither, because this is normal behavior from him. In previous years, he gushed over former Leeds manager Marcelo Bielsa, whom he referred to as "the best." In 2021, Pep explained,

"That's why I recognize the best because people say that he doesn't win titles but give him Manchester City and he will win titles. It depends on the players you have, but always the players they have, they are always better players. That is the best proof of when a manager is good."

In the 2021-22 season, Man City won the title and Leeds came 17th.

Pep also heaped praise upon Vincent Kompany, who managed Burnley when they were relegated in 2024. After City thrashed Burnley 3-1 in January, Pep said,

"[Vincent] is already a big manager, what he did last season with Burnley. You can see the ideas they have, the way they try to defend. I like what he does."

So I guess the takeaway is that Pep is mostly nice about the managers whose style aligns with his own, even if it's not actually working out well for them. Marcelo, Martin, and Vincent are all examples of this. Pep favors a high-press, possession-based approach – he does not like it when teams try to "park the bus" against him, for instance.

The title race

It's barely November, so why am I talking about the title race? Listen, I wish I wasn't. It's just that pundits are yapping about how the first 10 games of the season give us a pretty good idea of how the table will look in May.

On Sunday, Arsenal and Liverpool battled it out at the Emirates in a game that ended 2-2. It's a fine result, but it feels a little like a missed opportunity for Arsenal. The Gunners got off to a flying start, thanks to a spectacular goal from our hero Bukayo Saka, but injuries and a decimated back line got the better of us in the second half.

Big Gabbi had to come off. Fatigue pushed Timber off. We finished with an 18-year-old (Myles Lewis-Skelly–no shade, I'm just saying), and Jakub Kiwior, whose defensive errors have previously cost us. He's our modern-day Rob Holding. Sorry, Rob!

Given these defensive issues, is it a triumph that Liverpool only got 4 shots on target in the whole match? For sure. Would Saliba and Gabbi and Benny Blanco and Timber have prevented a second goal had they played the whole game? Obviously, I can't say so definitively, but I think so.

The real winners coming out of this one are Manchester City.

Special mentions

• Wolves, for nicking a point in stoppage time
• Crystal Palace, for grabbing their first win this season (and beating Tottenham, no less!)
• Brentford, for scoring FOUR goals against Ipswich, and rallying after going 0-2 down
• Chelsea, for continuing their hot streak and beating Newcastle. Special kudos to Cole Palmer, whose heroics all but won the game for the Blues