Your Festive Fixtures Update (Gameweeks 19 + 20)

Three+ years after I gave birth and one year after we got married, my husband and I are finally taking our honeymoon. Yeah, we've never really done things in the "right" order.

We're in Ireland currently, relaxing in the spa... I mean, getting in touch with my husband's Irish roots! But before Ireland, there was London. And Emirates Stadium.

I'm a lucky girl who's been to the Emirates a few times before (shoutout to my dad!!), but this was the best game I've ever been to in person. And in my euphoria over the complete beatdown that Arsenal laid on Aston Villa, I pretty much forgot that there were a bazillion other games happening over the next few days.

This recap is as much for me as it is for you. There's a lot to cover!

Enzo Maresca fired

Enzo Maresca's firing felt like it came completely out of the blue — or at least it should have, if Chelsea existed in anything resembling a logical reality.

In November, Chelsea drew Arsenal and beat Barcelona in the Champions League, prompting "serious" discussions about whether or not they were dark-horse title contenders. But did everyone forget what Chelsea are actually like?

This is a club that treats stability like a personality flaw. They've managed just two wins in their last ten matches, and now, they've managed to get rid of another objectively good manager.

Apparently, there was real friction behind the scenes. Over the past two seasons, Chelsea have fielded the youngest line-ups in the Premier League, and Enzo reportedly believed that the squad’s lack of experience and tactical maturity was holding them back — a theory you really only have to glance at their red card tally to agree with.

Now, relations between Enzo and the higher-ups soured faster than it takes my toddler to eat a cookie... but the speed of his departure still took me by surprise. In fact, I'm still reeling and they've already gone and appointed a new manager: Mr. Liam Rosenior, formerly of Strasbourg!

The internet thinks he looks like a web developer / teacher / hot professor and I'm inclined to agree. WELCOME TO CRAZY TOWN, LIAM.

Manchester United says, 'Hold My Beer'

The Red Devils are used to competing with the Blues, so once they saw Chelsea had fired their manager, they weren't about to be outdone. On January 5, they also "parted ways" with Ruben Amorim following United's draw with Leeds and another truly unhinged media briefing.

According to reports I've read, it was Amorim's refusal to switch up his 3-4-3 formation that put the nails in his metaphorical coffin. That, and the fact he wanted the club to buy more players in the January transfer window and they were like, "nah, we bought three new attackers in the summer and what have they done for us??"

Fair.

But what's interesting to me is this being the breaking point.

The club actually supported Ruben's dumb 3-4-3 formation up to a point, invested close to £250 million in his playing squad, and backed his judgment on cutting ties with players like Marcus Rashford and Alejandro Garnacho (the latter of whom liked the post announcing Ruben's firing because he's petty like that).

So, where does United go from here? The rebuild continues, I guess! Darren Fletcher is now interim manager, Ole Gunner Solskjaer's reportedly interested in returning to Old Trafford, and Luke Shaw's still playing left back.

Wolves! Wolves! Wolves!

Now, I'm a benevolent blogger, so I come to you with good tidings: Wolves have finally won a match. Huge congrats to Rob Edwards and the whole squad.

2026 has been the year of ties for every Big Six club besides Arsenal (HAHA). And Wolves are capitalizing on their run of modest opponents, taking one point from Manchester United and three from West Ham. They now have a whopping 6 points and are coming for Burnley. Watch your back, Clarets.

On the flip side of the coin, I saw that plenty of West Ham fans were upset... including one fan who claimed his little boy was "in tears" at halftime. It sucks to be the first team to lose to Wolves all season. I wouldn't know what that's like because I support a winning team, but truly, I'm so sorry.

Liverpool = Loserpool

Technically, Liverpool have tied their first two matches of the year, but you say PAH TA TO I say PO TA TO.

It kinda feels like a loss when you whip your shirt off after you think you've won it in stoppage time, only for Fulham's Harrison Reed to score a worldie in the 97th minute. That goal slapped.

The moral of the story, Cody Gakpo, is keep your shirt on.

Per usual, Reddit knows what's up.

Some highlights of my time at the Emirates

It was about time Aston Villa got a good, old-fashioned slapping!

Beyond the incredible scoreline and our incomparable squad (HOLLAAA), here are just a few other highlights of my time at the stadium:

• The man who was so upset that the stadium had sold out of Bovril (British speak for some sort of meaty tea) that he just stood there bellowing, "HOW can you be out of BOVRIL on a CHILLY NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT It's a DISGRACE" over and over, while everyone else politely ignored him. His passion alone almost convinced me to try Bovril, but alas, they were out! Sir, whoever you are, I hope you eventually find your Bovril.
• The three Indian brothers seated next to me who were very clearly sharing one ticket between them and spent the entire match playing musical chairs.
• The burger from Edgeware Road that was mostly gristle but I enjoyed it because ... atmosphere!
• The ladies toilet which is always immaculate and empty because apparently no women come to football games and thus I am an alien.
• The happy bro who yelled "What do we think of Tottenham? SH*T! What do we think of SH*T? Tottenham!" (We were playing Villa, not Tottenham.)

All in all, it was a perfect night.

As I type this now, I am on a train that is imminently pulling into Dublin station, so sorry this is a bit more slapdash than usual.

The volume of games this month is truly astounding, so don't despair. You'll be hearing from me again very soon!