Your Update: Gameweeks 21 & 22

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Moving right along.

It's been 12 degrees for days now. I barely go outside anymore and I've forgotten what real warmth feels like. Wbu?

The good news is that footballers don't get cold! And by that I mean the Premier League doesn't care how cold it is outside; they only ever cancel matches in the event of actual Armageddon (CC: Liverpool-Everton).

I hope you've been dealing with the cold better than I have, because that bar is pretty low. Seasonal depression aside, here I am to tell you all about what happened in the league this week. Hooray!

Ruben Amorim loses his chill

Do you know who roasts Manchester United even more than me? Their coach, Ruben Amorim.

After United's 1-3 loss to Brighton over the weekend, the manager called his side, "the worst team, maybe, in the history of Manchester United."

Ruben's ire stemmed from the fact that, two goals down to Brighton, his side played sloppy, ill-disciplined football. Around the 90 minute mark, players began coming out of position to boot the ball in the direction of the goal. He told media,

"You can feel it in the end of the game — everybody was changing position and that is something I will not see again. We can lose but we have to maintain position."

Ruben was so mad he smashed damaged the TV in the dressing room. And then said his team were s**t.

Many are speculating that this Man United side has "broken" Ruben, who was once known to be calming figure on the sidelines. For example, Bruno Simao, who formerly played under Ruben at Portuguese club Casa Pia, described Ruben as "calm in his words, his expressions, and his posture. You won't see him swearing or throwing things."

SIKE.

The whole thing reminds me of that time Tom Brady broke a tablet on the sidelines of the 2022 game against the New Orleans Saints. Although, I guess poor Tom was dealing with undue stress at the time, given he and Gisele were on the outs.

Somebody, anybody, get the Gunners a striker

I am exceedingly pained to report that it continues to be a case of "one step forward, two steps back" for Arsenal. Two weeks ago, we lost on penalties to Manchester United (!!) in the FA Cup, a game we should have won by a mile. I don't have much to say in our defense, as we dominated the ball, created a plethora of chances, and then had as much trouble scoring goals as I do getting up in the mornings.

We managed to beat Tottenham a few days later, but gave up a 2-0 lead to tie Aston Villa 2-2 last weekend. The squad's been pretty ravaged by injuries, but the biggest sticking point is our lack of goal scorers.

With Gabriel Jesus's torn ACL, Bukayo Saka's damaged hamstring, and Raheem Sterling's inability to play football, it's left to defender Big Gabi to assume the mantle of chief goal scorer.

The Gunners' lack of depth is in contrast to Liverpool's attacking threat, which was what saw them beat Brentford at the death last weekend. As Mikel Arteta said,

"They [Liverpool] made the subs, and the subs made the impact and changed the game. On our side it was the opposite, even after conceding the two goals very close to each other. The danger was that I knew half the team could go downhill because we were physically drained."

To date, transfer rumors of a striker are flying thicker and faster than my daughter Ava's tears when I tell her she can't watch "Bluey." Benjamin Sesko's name has been linked to North London for a while now, so fingers crossed!

Pep not so pepper anymore

Last weekend, Manchester City whupped Ipswich's butts 6-0. It was disappointing for me, who put money on both teams to score.

But it was encouraging for the Manchester City faithful, who got their hopes up that their team was back to treble-winning form.

Afterwards, Erling Haaland, fresh off his new 9-and-a-half-year contract, said,

"I feel like a positive energy in the club. It's been a hard period–everyone knows that. I feel the energy and I think we're over that now and we look forward in time."

Oh Erling, you sweet summer child.

Much ado has been made of City's stunning breakdown in the Champion's League on Wednesday night. Against Paris St. Germain, City took a 2 goal lead in the second half, only to end the match losing 4-2.

The collapse only highlighted the problems characterizing this City squad mid-October 2024 and beyond. Essentially, with Rodri out for the season, their midfield lacks physicality and pace, and they're getting overrun. If ever there was case to make for Rodri winning the Ballon D'Or, it's the fact this team has quite literally crumbled without him.

Nottingham Forest are for real

Talk about turnaround! Forest has rocketed from a 17th place finish in 2023-2024, to fighting for a Champion's League spot in 2025.

This isn't news, but what was interesting to me this week was Forest's game against Southampton. Southampton are bottom of the table and Forest are third, so they were expected to dominate the Saints, a mentality that's not necessarily natural to them after two seasons as underdogs.

At half time, Forest were flying and the score was 3-0. But the second half saw them take their foot off the gas. Southampton scored two goals and the atmosphere totally changed. By the time Forest defender Ola Aina cleared a ball off the line in extra time, Forest fans didn't have any fingernails left.

It's different when the expectations change. This is something I've lived through as an Arsenal fan, when we shifted from mediocrity to title contenders. Success changes everyone's perspective on match day, and these Forest players are going to have to embrace the burden.

Transfer updates

I've been refreshing the transfer updates every hour on the hour just so I don't miss any new Arsenal signings. But while it's been crickets in North London, here are a few transfer updates to whet your appetite:

• Manchester City's Kyle Walker finally got out of town and went to AC Milan on loan. (Do we think Annie went too?)
• Brighton sent Julio Enciso to Ipswich on loan
• There can only be one Egyptian King in the league, but Manchester City signed the self-proclaimed Egyptian Prince, Omar Marmoush
• Tottenham signed 18-year-old winger Yang Min-hyeo
• Man U banished Antony to Real Betis

...More to come! Hopefully an Arsenal striker!